Running outta natural bacon?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? What will be the substitute?

Some schmuck told me that were running outta natural bacon! We gotta find a replacement! Why not pigs? I bet no one has thought of that one! Ive done it again... IVE SAVED THE DAY
Answers

Eddie

"Natural Bacon" is without nitrites, but with all the deliciousness of regular bacon

Ridley

Beef jerky

Donnie Porko

Bacon is made from pig belly.