I'm planning to end my life soon?

I don't know what to do anymore. I haven't left the house in 9 years. I can't work because I'm too shy. I tried looking for a job online but no luck. I'm thinking about applying for disability for anxiety but I don't think I'll get it. I might end up homeless. Everyone hates me, bullies me, & tells me I'm never gonna amount to anything. I'm shy, quiet, unattractive, a minority, & a pushover. I think this might have something to do with it. I'm afraid to stand up for myself because I'm afraid I'll get hurt but even when I do stand up for myself it just gets worse. It looks like I'm just gonna live a life of abuse & I can't live with that. I'm planning to end my life soon. The only reason I haven't is I'm afraid I'll fail & end up in the hospital & I'm afraid they'll do something to me in the hospital or when I'm dead. I don't believe in god or the afterlife anymore so I'll just be dead which scares me.
Answers

Ian

Suicide is the only thing that you can do in this life that is punished more harshly than being a conservative is.

petrof_skinsky

Go see a mental health professional for a solid treatment plan. You deserve a happy life.

tellitlikeitis

You've managed an excuse for everything, haven't you, including a delay for your planned suicide. There really is only so much sympathy you'll get from others when you whinge your way through life. I don't know if you'll end it or not, but somehow I doubt it. You're just having a pity party for one. Indulge in it if you like, but if you get to the end of it and all the balloons are burst but you're still here, best do the other thing and live. But you'll have to work on yourself quite a lot to manage that.

Anonymous

Quite.