In love and engaged at 18?

Amz

i wouldn't get engaged just yet. You can still be committed to each other as you work your way through college though! Plans have a way of changing when you're young and you don't want to feel trapped into a set time to get married, ya know?

Messykatt

"we just thought an engagement would be a nice big step towards our future." No, that would be a promise ring. You'd promise to get engaged when you're both financially independent and ready to commit your lives to each other. You're not even a little bit ready for this. For example, you say you live together, but since you're 17 or younger, I'm assuming you live with someone's parents. That's not at all what living together implies. It means the 2 of you are running your own lives, paying all bills and basically living like a married couple. At your ages this isn't even possible. Don't jump into things before you're ready. Like I said, if you want an outward symbol of your plans and love, go for a promise ring.

BeatriceBatten

You're missing the point of what an engagement is for. It's not to make a statement about your future. If you're not planning to marry until you finish college, then wait until you finish college (and better yet, until you both get jobs) to get engaged. Your dad's family is doing you a big favor by not entertaining this nonsense. Any adult with half a brain in their head will tell you what a moronic idea this is. Any adult squealing over "Yay a wedding!" to a couple of 18 year olds is trying too hard to be your friend and not your parent/role model, and shame on them. Dating with the intention of hopefully getting married one day when you're ready is absolutely fine. That's generally what dating is for. However, you're going to come across as a baby if you guys announce you're "engaged" but the wedding is nowhere in sight for now. I started dating my now-husband at 18. We were talking about maybe one day getting married by 19-20. We actually got engaged at 25, once we both had at least one college degree each and a job and health insurance and our own place. Most of our close friends followed a similar path. Meanwhile I had lots of friends who were "engaged" in high school/college, some of them after dating the person for under a year, and were proclaiming their "engagement" all over MySpace (lol). None of them are still together today. Most of them broke up within 6 months of the "engagement announcement." Nobody took their relationships more seriously because of the "engagement," or viewed them with enhanced respect, or was excited for their wedding ... everyone just laughed at how stupid and immature they were. They were all too eager to play House and Wifey without actually being practical or smart about it and taking 10 seconds to actually think it through. Don't be like these people - spare your dignity and save a ring and an engagement announcement for a few more years, when you're actually ready to have the wedding soon.

linkus86

I hate to break it to you but … you are already engaged. An engagement isn't a gift of a ring, its a promise you make to each other to be married one day. And apparently you have already done that. Save the ring and public announcement for the year you actually plan to follow through.

Linda

DO WHAT EVER MAKES YOU TWO HAPPY.

Foofa

Engagements that last longer than 12 months are usually an indication that a couple isn't serious about marriage. So if you're still together when you're getting ready to finish college, make the announcement then (and get married in a timely manner so you don't try people's patience). Better still wait until you both have good jobs and the financial stability to actually make a marriage work.

Nansin

you should marry him.

Anonymous

I'm not very supportive at all and agree with your father's side. anyone who actually agrees with you getting married that young want to see you divorced and it's kinda funny. with what money, or better yet what money are you gonna steal from your parents, to have this wedding? why can't you just wait? what's the big rush? honestly... there is no difference between husband and boyfriend, especially if you already live together. you can wait. get a damn education. you'll need it.

Anonymous

The only step between living together and being married is the wedding planning. What exactly do you think engagement is? It's the period of time the couple uses to plan the wedding/prepare for marriage. If you aren't ready to pick a date and start arranging the wedding, you're just pretending to be engaged.

Mackinsey

I would wait until after college to get engaged 1.) weddings are expensive you don’t want to be paying off college and paying for a wedding 2.)if you wait until after college I feel your dads side of the family would feel a lot more comfortable and support the wedding more (perhaps you will get better wedding presents) 3.) you guys already live togeather. That’s honestly almost better than being engaged If you want to take the next step I would get a pair of promise rings

The

Dang I'm almost 19 and I still play with action figures, legos and I'm in 11th grade. My advice is do what you think is best. You're 18 so your an adult and you can make descisions

Patricia

Just make it a long engagement.

Jerry: So right now the situation between you two is

So right now the situation between you two is: There is mutual agreement on wanting to marry, on continuing to move toward marriage. You both consider yourselves to be "taken" rather than "available," to be NOT dating or even "seeing" other people, but to be an exclusive committed couple. You both expect to be treated like a part of a couple, not like a single people. Considering all this, I find myself wondering "How are these two people NOT engaged?" Do not let yourself be snowed by Wedding Industry propaganda. Engagement and wedding planning are NOT one and the same. Engagement is mutual agreement to marry. Wedding planning is plunking down $$$ on wedding related expenditures. Be sure that your engagement is long enough that you both (1) finish school and start earning a "real" paycheck, and then (2) devote a year or more to "marriage lite," a period of planning and preparing for marriage like getting involved in each others finances and financial habits, like learning what it's like to be considered "family" by your future inlaws, like getting clear on "yours, mine, or ours" issues, and then after the MARRIAGE planning, (3) think about setting a date and starting the wedding planning. If you're depending on parents for any kind of support and your parents object to you two styling yourselves as fiancé and fiancée, then you may have to continue introducing each other as dear good friends, may have to NOT wear an engagement ring, may have to "go along to get along." But if there's that two way agreement to marry, then you ARE engaged -- no matter how much you have to keep quiet about it.