Do you need to invite the groom’s family for a bachelorette party?

I’m in my 30’s so I’m not interested in getting drunk or strippers. I wanted something more chill and just have a girl’s trip with my sisters, few cousin, and few close friends. Also, we all have responsibilities now, so it’s hard to do something big. We were thinking of a small weekend getaway that’s an hour away from home. I’ve known my groom’s female cousins for years but we eat along but not close. One of them used to be a friend of mine but the friendship turned toxic. Instead of having my back, she was spreading rumors about me constantly; stirring the pot with mutual friends, and just being happy when bad things happened to me. She uses people around her as a mouthpiece. One of his cousins told me that she needed a vacation and wanted to have a girls trip for my bachelorette party. Knowing them, they’re just using it as an excuse to get out of town but not really for me. Wouldn’t be surprised if my old friend started this idea. In the past, she wanted to invite her friends to my intimate birthday dinners and when I accommodated once, they went and did their own thing. Used my birthday as an excuse for them to go out and do their thing. What are your thoughts? NONE of the groom's cousins (especially the one wanting to plan her vacation/my bachelorette party) are bridesmaids. Maybe it's a nice gesture but I find it selfish that someone would want to use my occasion as their own party. The toxic friend relies on her cousins for her social life. When she had her bachelorette party, she was breastfeeding a 5 month old & pregnant. I'm sure this is her own agenda in wanting to go out/party; her second chance at having a bachelorette party. EDIT: My MOH is my sister & when I told her about this, she was offended. She's usually on top of her game & said that my fiancé's cousin was out of her place with bringing up plans, especially bc she's not a bridesmaid. One of those situations where people who are expected to be invited, yet not super close to them at all. Again, I get along with them okay, known them for years before I dated my fiancé but we never saw each other outside family parties

Answers

linkus86

My thoughts the most toxic thing isn't your grooms cousins, its your suspiciousness and desire to make assumptions without due cause. Yes you have good reason to exclude the one girl, but you are convicting the other cousin for no apparent reason but your unfounded suspicions.

Amz

Invite who YOU want to. You don't have to invite them. Trust your gut.

sarah

If these are people who are going to ruin your experience, then don't bother inviting them. Family or not, nobody deserves the opportunity to rain on your parade.

Edna

Your question was 'do you need to invite the groom's family to a bachelorette party'? Forget about about all your past family drama - that has nothing to do with your basic question. I don't know if you NEED to, but you CAN, if you want to. I was invited to my future DIL's bachelorette party, which took place 2 days before the wedding. All us women went out to bar, and we had a blast! We finally closed that place down at 2:00 a.m., when the bar stopped serving drinks.

Foofa

While using a bachelorette party to make yourself queen for a day is pretty repulsive, you're not required to have anyone there that you don't like. Do know though that you're marrying into this family so it's not like they're all just going to go away and never bother you again.

D C

Clue your fiancé in on your thoughts so he has a heads up as you are about to share a life together its a great way to start. That's being said, the bachelorette party is usually thrown by your friends...

Messykatt

The simple answer to your question is you can create your guest list and then give it to the person hosting the party. But everything after that is confusing. You're not supposed to be involved in actually planning it and that goes triple if it's a weekend getaway. You never said who's hosting this, but that person needs to get an idea what people can afford. She also needs to figure out what costs will be contributed by others during the weekend. I've been to a couple of these and they were fun, but the hostess was very organized. I've heard about ones that turned into a trainwreck when a hostess hadn't thought through the finances. Invite who you want, but then step back.

BeatriceBatten

Whomever has volunteered to host your bachelorette handles the invitations. You are not supposed to be involved in planning it. If she asks you for a guest list then provide a list of your friends and then step away from the plans. If you're not close to these people, then do not ask the hostess to invite them. Simple as that. (And if nobody's offered to throw you a bachelorette party, then guess what, you don't get a bachelorette party.) If they complain about not being invited then you can shrug and say, "I didn't plan the party for myself, someone else did. And we don't hang out anyway - the party was just my closest friends, I didn't invite my own extended family to come." And then drop it and end the conversation. The bachelorette is traditionally just the bride's closest friends. If you don't hang out with these women in everyday life then there's no need to ask the bachelorette hostess to invite them. If they're offended then that's too bad for them. If they harass you over it then ask your fiance to step in and deal with his family ... and if he won't, then reconsider the marriage. You seem to just want to biiiiitch and complain about these people. I get that they annoy you but you seem obsessive over them. Ignore them and move on with your life. It's bizarre that you're making all of this so personal when you could easily avoid the drama by just ignoring them. I'm sure you enjoy the drama, right?

Jerry

Drop the term "bachelorette party" and you can do whatever you wish. If some group wants to go on a weekend getaway, include you in their weekend get away, these other people can WISH those planning the weekend had asked them to be part of it, but don't have any valid claim that they are being excluded from a wedding event. It's not a wedding event -- it's just a family gathering plus a few dear friends. You can handle other socializing the same way. "But it wasn't a Bridal Luncheon at all. I was my cousin taking me and my sisters out for lunch -- family meeting for lunch, not a wedding function."

Leafsfan29-Embrace the drought!

No. Don't worry about it.

You may invite whomever you wish.

Mamawidsom

Not unless they are members of the wedding party. This isn't a bridal shower. A bachelorette party is generally the women in the bridal party and very close friends or family. Only your BFFs. There is no expectation that anyone else would be included. IF someone does hold that expectation, it is their mistake, not yours.

Kel

If she is a bridesmaid, you would be expected to invite her. But she has no say in the planning and can't invite anyone else without your permission. Tell her the plans and make it clear she is to come alone, she can take it or leave it. If she isn't a bridesmaid, you don't need to invite her and how she feels about it isn't your problem. This is your day, you should only surround yourself with the people who matter to you.

Hot Dog is Back!

If you don’t mind looking at lady bits with your mother in law go for it.

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