Is it wrong I wish I talked to my sister who took my virginity at age 6? I wanted to tell her it was nice, and ask her if she would do again?

She was gentle. I trusted her. I couldn’t penetrate cause I’m 6 and she was high school age. It felt good. She would have me play with her breasts and she would stimulate her clitoris. She said something about tomorrow we will do again. It never happened. We grew and were always very tight. I wanted to say something, but I was scared because it was a memory from 6. She died. And I think about what would happen if I asked her. I wouldn’t ask unless she would do it again. I wanted to have her guide me like I was then. She is the ideal sex to me. I at least wanted to see if she was upset about it, and I wanted to tell her that it wasn’t scary and I’m not mad. I’m only mad that I missed my chance to get some answers, and a chance to connect to one of my happiest memories of childhood. I miss my chance to understand why and what happened with her. I think I would have upset if she wouldn’t repeat the moment. If she wanted, I would have just sucked her breasts, while she touched herself. I liked it. Is that ok? And should I have regret for putting out there that I was happy to have that time. I now want her worse because she is gone. I want to tell her that love her, and no matter what I would love her.